For some people, the simple act of sewing at the machine is a moment of zen. The needle whips in and out of the fabric, making perfect seams and hems, straight lines and sweeping curves appear in thread as if by magic.
I am not one of these people.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to sew. When it’s all going well, and I feel a bit like a domestic goddess, it’s a wonderful thing that puts me in a wonderful mood. In fact, even when it all goes a bit wrong, I still end up in a good mood.
I do tend to swear though.
Today, sewing up some tiny petals for the flowers I’m making, it went like this:
*machine noise* *sound of machine munching the fabric* oh you DICK *snipping sounds* Oh for fucks sake just SEW IT *slow machine sound* *speeding up as everything looks good* *stopping machine to turn fabric* *VVTVTTVTTV sound of needle hitting stuck fabric* OH YOU SHITTING PIECE OF SHIT *foot goes up with a clunk* *sound of hand winding machine* How about NOW you pile of crap? *slam of foot going down* *fast machine* *pulling and snipping threads* Do that again and I’ll scrap you you bastard. *sound of machine* *sound of fabric getting munched* OH YOU SHITTING PILE OF SHIT FUCK FUCK STOP IT
So relaxing, you guys.
I swear, this is my mom EVER SINGLE TIME she sews. It’s amazing she made all those Halloween costumes for me without dying.
LOL – No really I am laughing out VERY loud – at 24 past midnight.
There is someone I know who sounds like this when they do a lot of things…. like washing, driving, writing his thesis. I haven’t yet seen (or heard) him sew but I imagine it would sound much like this. *snigger* BTW he can actually sew and owns a better machine than I do. (Bastard).
I don’t feel so bad about my sewing-anxiety now. I haven’t used a machine in years… probably about 10 of them.
Those flowers looked really awesome BTW.